In all my creative endeavors as a mental health advocate, I strive to convey how I
maintain a sense of contentment, even in my discontent. Despite my whims and
inconsistencies, I have learned through acceptance, forgiveness, transparency, and trust to
love and accept myself as perfectly-imperfect; I can just be, even when inundated with
life stuff.
Living with rapid cycling bipolar disorder, I look at life through the lens of a survivor, not a victim. I advocate for those who share the ill-experience of being labeled as mentally ill, and who have felt shamed and lost as a result. Many have been forced to succumb to pharmaceutical oppression and offered only chemical options to mask their
dis-ease and create a false sense of normalcy. From experience, I am well aware that outside of the suggestion of therapy in conjunction with debilitating meds, psychiatric patients are not given many avenues to overcome and heal from their mental dis-ease; many do not have the tools to heal themselves and are not-so-subtly coerced to rely solely on medical doctors for answers that do not lead to solutions. The pharmaceutical band-aides that are overprescribed only mask the issues.
Traditional psychiatric medicine neglects to offer people non-invasive techniques to heal their fractured souls, while manufacturing the victim mentality among psychiatric patients by overmedicating to mask their symptoms. Patients become dependent on pharmaceuticals to “normalize” their symptoms, while doctors introduce more psych meds to address side effects. It is a vicious cycle of dependence and works like a temporary band-aide.
There is a reason that I comfortably refer to the word d-i-s-e-a-s-e in two different ways; dis-ease and disease. Allan Frances, MD, author of Saving Normal: An Insider's Revolt against Out-of-Control Psychiatric Diagnosis, DSM-5, Big Pharma, and the Medicalization of Ordinary Life, refers to dis-ease as a state of being where one is on the mental journey from discomfort (or dis-ease), and disease as illness. Frances continues to share that dis-ease is "a common daily experience for many of us—for example, when we struggle with a situation that is difficult to manage," whereas disease describes an illness. Dr. Frances highlights where he feels that traditional mental health has gone wrong:
"A major facilitator of the transition from dis-ease to disease is medication. If there is a medicine to ease the dis-ease, surely it must really be a mental illness. The pharmaceutical companies are enthusiastic participants in this process, but so are we—the prescribers and the consumers."
Dr. Frances' observation resonates with my advocacy plight. I, too, choose to refer to mental illness as a state of dis-ease, rather than a disease, because I have experienced the efficacy of holistic approaches to dealing with the state of dis-ease. Using writing and radio as my platforms, I join the ranks of those who look at mental health through this different lens, having experienced mental dis-ease from the perspective of patient and advocate.
After many years as a patient, I was introduced to Positive Psychology (PosPsy), a scientific methodology that investigates human behavior focusing on a patient's strengths, rather than weaknesses. I found that if I moved my thinking out of my cluttered mind and slid approximately 18”down into my heart space, I was far more comfortable in my own skin. it took practice, but it was there that I found clarity; I felt content with discontentment.
I experienced the efficacy of this approach when treated by an innovative psychiatrist named Dr. Martin Freimer. It was the first time in my mental wellness journey where I felt acknowledged as a fractured emotional being with immense potential to piece myself together, rather than in a static state as just another overly medicated statistic. I realized that having been a traditional psychiatric patient was a necessary unraveling that unearthed my new understanding. It was not long after my discovery of the benefits of a PosPsy approach to understanding and heart-based thinking that I created my own H.O.L.D.F.A.S.T. method to share with others and give them the healing tools that I find work for me in my journey:
• H is for Honest
• O is for Open a Dialogue
• L is for Look to Your Heart
• D is for Discern with Logic
• F is for Face Anxiety
• A is for Anticipate Fear
• S is for Step Up
• T is for Trust the Process
I share this method in books, in an interactive workbook, and on HOLDFAST Radio:
Ride Out Life with Mental Illness. H.O.L.D.F.A.S.T. implements Positive Psychology.
Through my experience, I have learned that contentment resides in the heart space, not in the mind. My journey has just begun. PosPsy is a new rabbit hole that has led me to discover other ways to work through mental illness and heal. Although at first glance my realization may seem unrelated, the unearthing of a new knowledge of ancient Japanese wisdom referred to as wabi sabi, and the art of kintsugi, a Japanese gold-joinery method of pottery repair braid seamlessly with PosPsy. The collaboration has encouraged me to accept what is, so I can just be. They are an invaluable triad.
I researched many, and learned a great deal from studying Hugh Asher, a mental wellness advocate, forest bathing practitioner and innovator of An Darach Forest Therapy ( the oak in Scots Gaelic) who implements wabi sabi and kintsugi into his mental wellness practice. Asher observes that the "repaired pottery is often considered even more beautiful and valuable for having been broken and repaired in addition to being a decorative art form.
Kintsugi is also seen as a metaphor for the concept of wabi sabi, a Japanese aesthetic concept that values the imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. It is often associated with the beauty of natural objects, such as flowers that are wilting or trees that are gnarled and twisted."
Asher describes Kintsugi as a "Japanese art form in which broken pottery is repaired with gold or other precious metal, rather than being discarded. The repair itself is part of the pottery's history and should be celebrated, rather than concealed." He teaches that wabi sabi can be seen as a way of accepting and embracing our imperfections, flaws and vulnerabilities rather than trying to hide them. It is about recognizing that life is unpredictable and sometimes difficult, and that it is okay to be imperfect and to make mistakes. Asher recommends embracing wabi sabi to "help us cultivate a sense of acceptance and compassion towards ourselves and others." He teaches that wabi sabi can also help us to "focus on the present moment and appreciate the simple pleasures in life, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future."
It is not about ignoring or denying problems or difficulties, but rather about "finding a way to deal with them in a healthy and mindful way. It is about finding beauty and meaning in the imperfections and impermanence of life, and learning to appreciate the present moment for what it is," Asher concluded.
Things change. Life happens. Things fall apart, and we can either crumble, or pick up the pieces and put them together again. In Positivepsychology.com, there is an invaluable toolkit that every one of us can access. It is home to simple exercises that help make sense the feeling of chaos that can overcome when things move, change, crumble, or shift. For me, it is kintsugi for the soul, and only requires a pen, paper, some quiet reflection, and an open mind.
“The only thing that is constant is change.” - Heraclitis, Greek Philosopher
According to PositivePsychology.com, "Life is continually changing and evolving. This means that from time to time, things just stop existing. Losing a job, ending a marriage, or moving to another place are examples of changes that many people have experienced. We lose out on something important, a big plan collapses, or we are rejected by someone. Another
way of expressing this feeling of loss is that a door is being closed." It is important to note, however, that the end of one thing is always the beginning of something else. We have the option to stay focused on the new opportunities that lie ahead, or to wallow in the stagnancy of what is closed behind the door. We can piece it back together; their is always a way.
Doors Closed Doors Open
"Doors closed doors open" is an invaluable Positive Psychology exercise that allows you to reassess closed doors and rebuild your experiences. According to Positive psychology.com, the goal of this exercise is threefold:
The exercise can make you aware that the end of something is also the beginning of something new.
The exercise can help you become aware that this change requires a shift in perspective from focusing on things that are not there anymore to seeing the potential of the future.
The exercise can help you become aware of what currently prevents you from adopting a more optimistic outlook when doors close.
Seligman teaches that the goal of the exercise is not to downplay the negative event that you've experienced, but to create awareness of the positive potential that
arises as a result of the closed door.
Reflection Exercise - Grab a pen and paper, and find a quiet place.
Think about a time in your life when a door closed for you: perhaps someone rejected you, you missed out on something important, or a big plan collapsed.
Now, think about what happened after the fact: What doors opened as a result? What would have never happened if the first door had never closed?
Next, take 15 minutes or so to write down as many of these experiences that come to mind, beginning each experience with "The door that closed on me was...".
When you complete writing the experiences down, simply preface the next portion of your reflection with "The new door that opened for me as a result of the door closing was...".
Reflect upon your experiences and respond to the following questions:
What led to the door closing? What helped you open the new door?
How long did it take you to realize that a new door was open?
Was it easy or hard for you to realize that a new door was open?
What prevented you from seeing the new open door?
What can you do next time to recognize the new opportunity sooner?
What were the effects of the door closing on you? Did it last long?
Did the experience bring anything positive?
What does a closed-door represent to you now?
What did you learn from the door closing?
Is there more room for growth from these types of experiences?
Is there a closed door that you still wish to see open?
Moving forward, think of all the people who have helped you open doors in the past. What did they do to help, and what can YOU do to help others look at closed doors in a new light?
Recommended Listening:
Recommended Reading:
Seligman, M. E. P. (2006). Learned optimism: How to change your mind and your life.
宮崎良文, Author. Yoshifumi Miyazaki. Shinrin-Yoku : The Japanese Art of Forest Bathing. Portland, Oregon, Timber Press, 2018.
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