Maya Angelou once said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Because harboring negative emotions can have a deleterious effect on mental health, positive psychologists developed a respectful, therapeutic way to help an individual express their negative feelings called narrative therapy. Narrative therapy is a form of talk therapy that allows individuals to separate themselves from the emotional shackles of the hidden problem that causes mental distress. It allows a person to express their issues, rather than internalize them; it respects the dignity of the individual by treating them as someone who is not deficient in any way because of their experiences. It allows the person to know they are not to be blamed for their problems, and are encouraged to not cast blame on others, either. Each recipient of narrative therapy is seen as a courageous expert in their own world who recognizes issues that are negatively impacting their quality of life; it gives them their power back.
It is another opportunity for kintsugi of the soul; the narrative therapy recipient can expose their problem, then recreate something beautiful out of something broken. It will free them from what was once a burden on their mental wellness. Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” Through narrative therapy, each individual is given the chance to make their “unconscious conscious,” tell their own story, and recreate their own truth to help them to heal from the negative. Narrative therapy gives them the latitude to externalize what ails them, and to remove it from their heart.
After narrative therapy, the recipient will be free to examine their formerly internalized issues, as they will be redefined and reshaped. When a person is on the other side of externalizing the negative emotions and experiences that they once harbored, they can begin to see the positive in their ill experiences; each emotion can be thought of as a teacher. According to positivepsychology.com:
“When clients mask their emotional experiences or try to push unpleasant emotions away, they can return amplified. However, by welcoming them as visitors, the intensity and impact of those emotions can be reduced.”
Independent Practice:
In the poem below, the human condition is personified as a guest house where emotions are temporary visitors that should be welcomed, even if they are unpleasant. Rumi sheds light on the power of welcoming all feelings, negative and positive, as they are transient. Enjoy the poem and reflect on the questions.
The Guest House by Jelaluddin Rumi
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
How do you interpret the poem?
What emotions visit you most often?
Why do you think that is?
How might it affect you if you welcomed all your emotions rather than denying them?
What benefits could there be in welcoming unpleasant emotions?
Can you relate to the feeling described in the line “violently sweeps your house empty of its furniture”?
Have you ever felt this way?
How might you apply the message of The Guest House to your everyday life?
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